I had my first ever pregnancy scare over the weekend. Talkin' 'bout good times.
Apparently my being ill screwed up my cycle and made me an entire week late. I suspected all along that the sickness was the culprit, but about three days in I started to get a little uneasy and decided I'd better lay off the rum until I knew all things were as they should by. By day five I was on the verge of freaking out, and also really thirsty for some of Matt's imported beer, so while I was at the drug store picking up various cough and congestion remedies for Matt (who went to the emergency room Thursday morning, since Urgent Care was closed for the holiday, to get started on his own lovely antibiotics, but that's fodder for another post), I picked up a test kit.
Soon after I got back home, nature called, so I gave myself the test. The instructions said that the results should appear in two minutes, but could take as long as ten. After about a minute the negative sign appeared, so I set it aside and went to distract myself for another nine minutes, deciding to wait and make sure before I started celebrating. When I came back to the bathroom, Matt was standing at the sink, and the test was gone.
"Did you throw away the test?" I asked.
"Yeah. You were through with it, weren't you?"
"I guess. Did it still say negative?"
"Yes," he assured me. Then, "There was a plus sign. That means no baby, right?"
"Um. What?"
"A plus sign means you're not pregnant, isn't that what you said?"
".... Crap. What? Let me see that test! Was there really a plus sign?"
"Yeah. Why? Wait, does that mean you are pregnant?"
"Yes! Crap! Get out of my way, I have to dig it out of the trash and make sure!"
"No way," he said, not getting out of my way. "Are you yanking my chain?"
"NO! Plus sign means pregnant! Lemme... oh. You're yanking my chain, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"Dude. That's just not something you do.*"
"I can see that now."
My husband is such a comedian. HA HA HA! Except not. Anyway, there is no bun in my oven, which has clearly disappointed my uterus to no end, because today she is punishing me severely, but at least she's confirming that the minus sign knew what it was talking about. All is right in my world.
In other baby news, over the long weekend we had one cousin show up with her son's new puppy, and another cousin brought his baby girl by to see us. Both were cuddly and warm and too cute for words, and any baby jones I may or may not have been feeling lately has been thoroughly satisfied. Although now I kind of want us to get a puppy.
During those few days that we considered the possibility that I might be pregnant, Matt and I had many discussions about how great kids would be some day but that day is definitely not today, as there are so many different ways we want to improve upon our current situation first. Of course, we knew, if it happened we'd have it and we'd love it and we'd both do the best we could with the resources currently available to us; but I know this for certain: as much as I might pine to hold and play with a baby from time to time, when that happens, I'm still all too happy to hand them back to their parents the second they become fussy or needy. I'm just not yet ready to be a mother. Thank God I still have more than nine months to get there.
*My true reaction was somewhat more volatile, to be sure, but I'm trying to keep it family-friendly in here, so it's not fit to print.
4 comments:
John Irving's newest novel - A Widow in Two Months.
I'd a killed him. Or at least hurt him bad enough that you wouldn't have to worry about another pregnancy scare for a while ;)
Hee, yup. Like I usually tell him when he goes into practical joke mode, which is fairly often, he and his family jewels are very fortunate that I'd like the option of having children some day.
Life is never boring around such a spouse. I have a similar fellow!
Heh. You can say that again.
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