Can't say as I'm having the Best Day Evar. I'm all hormonal and irritable, and certain husbands still haven't learned that trying to have household discussions with their PMS-ing wives is right up there with whacking a beehive with a stick. It's just not a good idea. And said hormones are making it impossible for certain wives to let go of stupid arguments and stop replaying them over and over in their brains and coming up with snappier comebacks and added lists of "and furthermores" every time. Or just wanting to whack certain husbands with a stick.
Grumble.
As long as we're on the topic of "things you'd like to whack"...
I've lost count of how many times I've had some variation of the following conversation with my mother. It's not quite the daily occurrence that I'm about to make it out to be, but it's close. I'd worry that she's starting to get senile, but she's kind of always been this way.
DAY 1
Mom: I think when my Cingular account runs out I'm going to switch to that Vonage.
Me: Vonage isn't cellular, Mom. It's Internet phone.
Mom: Well, maybe I'll switch my land line to it, then.
Me: But I thought you hated Internet phone?
Mom: I do, but [pointing at kitchen phone] I can switch that phone to it, can't I?
Me: No, Mom. You'd have to hook it up to the computer.
Mom: Oh, no. I don't like that. Never mind.
DAY 2
Mom: I think I'm going to look into that Vonage for my cell phone after my contract is up.
Me: Um. Didn't we just...? I mean, Vonage isn't a cell phone company.
Mom: It's not?
Me: No. It's Internet phone.
Mom: Well, maybe the kitchen... oh. Well, never mind.
DAY 3
Mom: My Cingular contract is up soon. I'm considering going with that Vonage I keep seeing on TV.
Me: .... [squeezing bridge of nose] Vonage is Internet phone. You hate Internet phone.
Mom: Oh, that's right. I do.
DAY 4
Mom: You know that Vonage? I'm thinking--
Me: Vonage is not a cell phone company!
Mom: Oh, it's not? Well, maybe I'll switch my land line--
Me: It's an internet phone company! You have to set it up over the internet!
Mom: Oh. Okay. How much coffee did you drink?
DAY 5
Mom: I think when my cell phone contract runs out I'm going to get that Vonage.
Me: *WHACK!*
...Okay, not really. I officially neither participate in nor condone the perpetration of violence against one's mother, no matter how much she may resemble a broken record.
2 comments:
Oh dear. Hee. My mother's annoying habit is to tell you something while walking out of the room. It all fades to white noise...
Mine does that, too. Or she'll strike up a conversation with me as I'm walking out the door. Sometimes I think she's not even really talking to me, she's just talking for talking's sake.
That talking gene totally skipped me.
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