Now I want to spend the rest of the day being emo and sulking about it. But I won't, because I'm beginning to pride myself on finally being a grown-up, and part of being a grown-up is learning to let go, to accept the consequences when you do dumb things, and to recognize that sometimes, painful things are still for the best. And I know deep down that this really is for the best. I made a lot of compromises to my beliefs and my behavior when I hung with that crowd. Not that they're bad people -- they're fantastic people. Their beliefs and values just don't always jibe with my own, and it was hard for me not to compromise parts of myself for the sake of being accepted and deemed "cool." So letting it go to my head and subsequently getting myself deemed "butthole" and almost universally rejected... yes, painful, in that soul-crushing, life-altering kind of way. But ultimately good for my character. The most valuable life lessons do have an annoying way of being the most painful.
Anyway. Chicken salad has been consumed, and 'twas most yum. Now I'm going to shake this off and hie myself to work.
5 comments:
"This past weekend saw a gathering of a group of friends who are scattered across North America. I started to read a report of how it went, but I couldn't get past the list of attendees before I had to shut it down."
Friends can be horrified at another friend's action but tries to reach out for that friend to stop or, at least, understand that action. Then, and only then, does a true friend, after exhausting all avenues of reaching the errant friend sadly walk away.
A friend doesn't condemn first, rant, rave, air her friend's dirty laundry out in a public forum expecting and desiring others to participate in the mud-slinging and back-stabbing. A friend tries to reach her friend in private to resolve issues.
I've heard you express regret, accept consequences without railing, and you've picked yourself up and gone on with dignity.
I've never heard you try to destroy anyone who participated in your online assassination. You haven't even mean-mouthed anyone involved.
I wasn't even a casual LJ friend at the time, and I was horrified at people who had shown adoration to you treat you with disdain and anger. They seemingly took joy in destruction. Even Brutus had the decency of character to feel badly about his part with Caesar.
I think you are way "cooler" as a person of character than as a BNF.
I'm too verklempt to come up with much of a response other than to say thank you.
So, thank you.
*sniff*
It must have sucked big time back then, and of course it still hurts to have lost those friends. I was on the very outskirts of your group back then, just one of your adoring fangirls. Did you know you had fangirls? :) Anyway, as much as it was an unpleasant, unfortunate and painful experience, it did mean I got an opportunity to become a friend of yours. For me, gaining you as a friend was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
You guys are trying really hard to make me cry at work, aren't you?
Yeah, that whole thing definitely sucked, but one of the good things to come of it was learning who my true friends are, and finding new friends whose sincerity I can believe in.
*sniff*
I love you guys.
I love you awful!
*mwah*
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