Freeze It!

This is a sponsored post, but that doesn't make it any less true. My love for this product is a pure love.

My mom has a fun tendency to get hung up on one product that is her magical cure-all for everything. For my entire adolescence, it was Alkaseltzer Plus, for all things reasonable and otherwise.

"Mom, I have a cold."

"Take some Alkaseltzer Plus!"

"Mom, I stubbed my toe!"

"Take some Alkaseltzer Plus!"

"Mom, my date stood me up!"

"Take some Alkaseltzer Plus!"

So after years and years of that sort of thing, you can bet I was glad when she found a new favorite cure-all, even if I'm the one who found it first, by doing something as simple as throwing my back out. After my chiropractor sent me home with a handful of Biofreeze samples, my mom tried some on one of her many aches and pains, and a new catch-phrase was born:

"Mom, I'm hungry."

"Put some Biofreeze on it!"

For once, I had to agree with her enthusiasm, if not necessarily her application. Biofreeze is good stuff. It's crack for the chronic back pain set, making you feel tingly and warm and taking the pain away. Trouble is, it's about as convenient to get a hold of as crack, too, and also about as expensive.

This explains why I'm actually glad, in retrospect, that I woke up one morning last month with the mother of all neck cricks. I was all out of Biofreeze, and in a panic, I called my mom. "Mom! I have the mother of all neck cricks!"

"Put Biofreeze on it!"

"I can't! I'm out!"

"Well then, I don't know what to tell ya."



*whimper*

I popped some painkillers, trudged to work and suffered through the morning, unable to turn my head. By lunchtime, I'd had enough, so I packed my stiff, sorry self into the car and headed to Wal-Mart to find something that could possibly fill the void left by my beloved Biofreeze.

I scanned the shelves. I started to lose hope. And then, there it was.

Freeze It.

What's that? I asked myself. The packaging sure looked a lot like my favorite brand of crack. I picked it up and examined it more closely:

"Compare to the active ingredients in Biofreeze(r)!"

Could it honestly be? An affordable equivalent right there in the Wal-Mart pharmacy? One that I didn't have to make a special trip to the chiropractor's office or take out a small loan to purchase? This was simply too good to be true.

And then I tried the stuff.



Did it work as well as its snooty, high-maintenance twin?



Yes. Yes it did. And it stole my heart. I was so overcome with gratitude and adoration that I even caught myself making out with it.


Because that's the stuff, baby.

Of course, I had to tell my mom about this stuff; and now we have a new catch phrase:

"Mom, my toast is burnt!"

"Freeze It!"

Freeze It, indeed.