He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. —Psalm 113:9

February 25, 2011

This Is How We're Doing

People keep asking how we're doing. I keep giving them a forced semi-cheerful "We're hanging in there" response, but the truth is that everything pretty much sucks right now. We're doing about as well as you'd expect anyone to be doing who's had a significant portion of their family wiped out in the space of two months.

By the grace of God, we ARE hanging in there, but I won't lie. We're both pretty depressed. And for these last few days, mine's been exacerbated by PMS, and Matt's is made worse by an impacted wisdom tooth that hurts like hell and that we can't afford to do anything about.

So far, this has been the hardest week, when everything we do takes so much more effort, and we're both feeling so tired and beat down, and he's in a lot of physical pain and I'm too hormonal to deal with any of it particularly well. There's been a lot of crying, and a LOT of sleeping, and a lot of just generally being grumpy at each other.

Of course, there's also been a lot of hugging and holding and praying and trying to make each other laugh. So it's not all dismal.

Bobo's not doing so great, either. In the last few weeks, right before Rob died, he had improved to the point that he'd pretty much settled in to be part of the family. His appetite was healthy and he was being social and seemed like he might actually be happy here.

Then, weirdly, the morning Rob died, before we even got the message, he started acting withdrawn and depressed, and he stopped eating. The first time he stopped eating, I didn't worry, because he was grossly obese and seriously needed to lose a lot of weight.

But now he's lost that weight and then some, and he's starting to waste away. He's 13 years old, and starting to exhibit other "old cat in the last stage of life" signs, like his fur has become grimy and started to fall out in large tufts. So we're not really sure if there's anything to be done for him, except to love him and make him comfortable and hope for the best. Yesterday he actually left my office and came out to be social, and drank some water. Today he did the same plus he ate a few bites of food, so I'm hopeful that this is a passing phase and he'll get better.

Although he loved Gina, he was clearly always Rob's cat, or rather, Rob was clearly HIS human. So I don't know if it's just a coincidence that he started going downhill so rapidly on the very day that Rob passed away, without any of us even knowing yet that he was gone (so it's not simply that he reacted to our mood). I don't know if I believe in some kind of psychic connection between people and their pets, but it certainly is a strange coincidence. At any rate, he's a really sweet kitty who's been through a really hard time, and I hope he gets better.

So that's how we're doing: not really so great. Hopefully the next time I post I'll have some good news to report for a change. I know we certainly could use some.


Ann said...

I'm thinking of you, and if you ever need someone to grump at, let me know.

jmbauhaus said...

Thanks, Ann. *HUGS*

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