1. a 100 word hook for your novel. A hook answers the question: why do I want to read this.
2. 500 words-the first 2-3 pages of your novel.
From what I've been able to glean from further reading, she (vaguely) defines the "hook" as the paragraph in a query letter that synopsizes the plot and makes it sound interesting enough to want to read more. Kind of like the summaries you find on the inside flaps of dustcovers.
So in my eagerness to get this hard part out of the way so that I can focus on spit-polishing those first 500 words of actual story, I've more or less accidentally come up with two potential hooks. Not a bad problem to have, but I can't decide which works best. And so, dear readers, I turn it over to you.
Hook the first:
The world is ending, and only Simon Caufield, Supernatural P.I., can save it. Trouble is, Simon Caufield is fictional. But try telling that to the faeries. Michael Chambers, the pretty-boy actor who plays Simon on TV, does so to little effect after they abduct him, convinced that he is the prophesied hero who can prevent the human and faerie worlds from destroying one another. The Fae are determined that he step up and become the hero he portrays, when all Michael wants is to get home and stop the doppelgänger sent to replace him from committing the ultimate identity theft.
Hook the second:
Things are not right in Faerie. The Seelie Court has spent the last century indulging its fascination with human technology, and as a result has lost touch with magic. The Unseelie Court has never stopped practicing black magic and sees their opportunity to sieze power, tear down the veil that hides their kind from human eyes, and unleash a faerie hell on Earth. The Seelie leaders believe one man has the power to keep this from happening—a human hero named Simon Caufield. Trouble is, Simon Caufield doesn't exist. So they settle for the actor who plays him on TV.
So which one would you rather see more of? I like the first one because it manages to allude to my whole Pooka B plot, but the second maybe comes across as a little more original? Maybe? If I knew I wouldn't be needing to ask for help, now, would I? Can I construct an entire paragraph out of nothing but interrogatives?
Why yes, apparently, I can. But I can't judge my own hook, so please comment on which you like best.
6 comments:
I like the second one. I don't know if you polished it more or what, but it definitely reads more smoothly. It also puts the fantasy element of the story right up front, and sticks with the main plot, rather than trying to include the sub-plot as well. I think the first one gets a little tangled up at the end with the sub-plot.
I'll keep my eye open to see what Miss Snark says about it.
I think you're right. What's funny is that the second one is the "more or less accidental" one that just came to me while I was plotting, and the first one is the one I actually spent time polishing. See why I suck at this sort of thing?
Hmm. And now I think YOU might be right. Number one does convey that the story is going to be told from Michael's POV. Number two is misleading on that front.
What we need is a third opinion. Anyone? Bueller?
I like fantasy and would be more apt to pick up book #2, but that is just personal reading preference. When I read #1, my eyes stopped at "P.I." thinking it was going to be a mystery, and I'm currently not interested in reading mysteries.
Both are godawful, sorry. If you're supposed to write in complete sentences (and avoid starting your sentences with conjunctions), then both fail. Beyond that, I not only have no desire to read the story, I have no idea why you would want to write it - nor do I feel like there's this vast reading population out there who, unlike me, would like to read this book. The story just seems tired and uninteresting, and better authors are working this market with much more creative stories.
They're both Bulwer-Lytton worthy, but the second is far worse than the first. I have no clue what a "Seelie Court" is - but then you add conflict with the "Unseelie Court" and I'd rather shoot myself than read further.
All righty, then. Thank you for taking the time to leave feedback.
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