So the question is, do I go with the one that appeals to my target market, or the one that appeals to those who wouldn't normally pick up this kind of novel? Or do I scrap them both and try to come up with a new hook that accomplishes both?
Assuming, of course, that I don't go with that last vote and go back to school for a nice, profitable advance degree in some soul-sucking career or another.
7 comments:
I like the second hook. If you do rewrite, bug Fennie to help. (She's good at that kind of thing.) But don't give up. If you give up, I can't show my kids my signed copy. ;)
Thanks, sunny. Believe me, I'd have Fennie all over this if she wasn't such a busy woman.
You can withdraw if you want, but I'm still counting it. And I still think you might be right. I think the reason I'm leaning toward the first one is because it's a character driven story, and that synopsis says a lot more about my protag and his priorities than the second does. To me, that's more important than the plot.
I can see your point about trying to get POV across in the hook, but I think if you go with number 1, you need to play with it a bit more.
The world is ending, and only Simon Caufield, Supernatural P.I., can save it. Or could, if he wasn't fictional. Hunky actor Michael Chambers is abducted by faeries convinced he is their hero, the saviour to rescue both the human and faerie worlds. Unfortunately, Michael has his own problem at home; a doppelganger planning the ultimate identity theft.
Bah. Not good, but maybe that'll give you a new direction as you polish it. Feel free to email if you want me to read other versions, too. ann [at] garniss [dot] org
Thanks, garnigal. I'll be taking you up on that.
Hmm, constructive criticism can be helpful even when it stings; however, how bereft of tact, human kindness, or even common decency does a person have to have to enter a stranger's journal and blast them?
You handled it with aplomb. My hat is off to you or would be if I wore one.
I didn't see much in that feedback that was meant to be anything but destructive, but clearly Flamer has bigger problems than whether she likes my writing and doesn't need any more grief from me. I hope she works out her issues. Meanwhile, she actually helped in ways I don't think she intended, so it's all good on my end. Thanks, Bojo.
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