I dreamed a dream of hair gone by, so different from this cash I'm holding

If you've been around here a while, then you know that I go back and forth a lot over whether to cut my hair. I think I want long hair. I imagine myself with a gorgeous main of long, wild, sexy curls. I spend six months or so growing it out...only to to find that it's not so much wild and sexy as it is kinda droopy, high maintenance and prone to split ends. But by that point, I've spent so much time growing it out that it seems like a shame to cut it.

So I dither, and before you know it another six months have gone by, it's halfway down my back, and it's still kind of a pain, but if I put the effort in I like the way it looks. By now I'm emotionally attached, I'm afraid of how I'd look with shorter hair (even though I have old pictures telling me I'd look just fine), I can't settle on a hair style, and having long hair just feels safe. By now it's been long enough for a long enough time that it's part of my identity, and the idea of cutting it feels almost as frightening as the idea of getting a tattoo. As frightening, at first, until I remind myself that it's not as permanent, that it would grow back eventually, that it wouldn't be the end of the world. And then there I am again, back with the dithering.

But if I found someone willing to pay between $200 and $2,000 for my lopped off ponytail? Then, I think, the only dithering is over where I last saw the scissors. You want to pay how much for a foot of my hair? For real? And I don't have to become a diseased prostitute like Fantine? Um, yes please? I can think of plenty of things I could buy that would soften the pain of my hairendectomy. Like paying off some bills, for starters.

My hair needs some TLC to fix some damaged ends and get it in good condition, but I'm seriously considering this. I might wait to grow it a couple more inches, though. Apparently, the longer the pony, the higher the price it fetches. And if it turns out there's no market for light auburn relaxed curls, I can always pack it off to Locks of Love and reap some warm fuzzies while I'm getting used to my new 'do.