He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. —Psalm 113:9

March 22, 2011

So about that song...

I done went and wrote it.

It's been percolating in my head ever since I got the notion to write one, and when I finally sat down this morning to get started on it, the whole thing came to me. Lyrics, melody and all. I waited all day to post it to step back and make sure it doesn't suck. I don't think it does. I mean, it's definitely not the best song ever. It's full of song cliches, yes, but it would be hard to convey the fairy-tale imagery I was going for without those cliches. And it's still a little rough, even though I've been tweaking and polishing it all day. At any rate, it says what I feel, and that's what important. It's also the first purely creative writing I've done since NaNoWriMo, and that sure felt nice.

I came thisclose to also posting an MP3 of me singing it, just so you'd get the melody, even though I can't sing, but the last thing I need right now is haters coming here to make fun of me and tell me I can't sing, LIKE I DON'T KNOW ALREADY, so I chickened out. But the next step, if Matt doesn't think it sucks (he's not up to reading it yet; I think this has been a tough day for him), to get him to help me compose a guitar arrangement for it. And maybe in another day or two I can pick out the melody on my old acoustic guitar so you'll get a better idea of how it goes.

Anyway, here it is. Remember: ROUGH DRAFT

###

UNTOUCHABLE
by Jean Marie Bauhaus
© 2011


Tower of glass
(unbreakable)

Atop the highest mountain
(unscalable)

Across the deepest chasm
(unreachable)

Behind the tallest fortress
(unbreachable)


Where you sleep
Where you dream
Where you wait to feel my touch

(CHORUS)
And I would climb the highest mountain
I would swim the deepest sea
I would slay the fiercest dragon
To have you here with me

I would raise the mightiest army
To knock down Heaven's door
I would gladly lay my life down
If it could give you yours

Just to touch you...

But you're untouchable.

Cradle of wood
(unfillable)

A room that's still a guest room
(unlivable)

A dream that's lost forever
(unbearable)

Two hearts go on without you
(so breakable)

I can't sleep
But I dream
And I long to feel your touch

REPEAT CHORUS

One kiss upon your sweet brow
to wake you from your slumber
One caress of your tiny hand
falls through my grip like sand

REPEAT CHORUS 2X

###

There you have it. If nothing else, writing it was very therapeutic.

8 comments:

DavidRM said...

I think that's quite good. Poignant.

-David

Angie said...

That is absolutely beautiful...

Erin Palette said...

With your permission, I'd like to forward this to a certain songwriter friend I know.

jmbauhaus said...

Thank you, David. That means a lot coming from another writer.

jmbauhaus said...

Thanks, Angie! I'm a little shocked that people actually think it's good. I'm always my own harshest critic.

jmbauhaus said...

That'd be great. I'd love to get a pro's opinion.

Elphaba said...

That's fabulous! I am impressed. I'm a fellow NaNoWriMo too!

jmbauhaus said...

Thanks, Elphaba (love that name)! Now I'm all stoked that you stopped by.

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