How Low Can You Go?

We're still stuck in limbo land, and the tedium of it all is getting to both of us. I think what we really need is a vacation to take our minds off of all of this waiting for things to change so we can take action and start moving forward. We're trying to plan a camping trip, but it keeps not coming together (case in point: we'd hoped to spend the holiday weekend at the lake, but that didn't pan out for various reasons), and at this point it will probably have to wait until Matt's done recovering from gallbladder surgery.

That's right--Matt had his ultrasound last week, and they found gallstones. We don't know for certain yet whether he'll need surgery, but it seems likely. He has an appointment with a specialist next Wednesday, and then we'll go from there. With his medical history and all of its resultant anxieties, he's really not keen on the prospect of surgery, so if any of y'all who pray could add him to your list, he could sure use prayers for peace.

But while that's stressful, on the other hand there's relief that it's "only" gallstones. We could tell by the technician's post-US change in demeanor that something was up, and were fearful that it might be much, much worse. So it feels a little like we dodged a bullet there. But even so, he still has pain on his left side (which is the opposite side of his gallbladder) that they have yet to explain. So we're still praying that if there's anything to be found on that side, they will find it, and it will be something treatable.

In POR news, my scales seem to be stuck at 170. I do feel like I'm losing fat, though (and building muscle tone, which is probably why I'm not registering more weight loss), unlike when I was plateaued at 173 for a month. But considering I still need to lose 20-30 more pounds before I'll feel comfortable about trying to conceive, the slowness with which it's coming off is frustrating. BUT! I can fit into my size 12 shorts now, albeit with a slight muffin top. That bit's pretty encouraging. And with my height I look pretty all right at a size 12.

Anyway, I started taking NAC this week, so we'll see if that makes a difference re: how fast the weight comes off.

One thing that has changed, though, is that I'm full of hope. I can actually picture myself big and pregnant, and as a parent. And I've reached a place where I can read online about other women's babies and pregnancies and feel happy for them and only feel a mild stab of sorrow for myself, instead of being totally engulfed in grief and self-pity. And I can see pregnant women at the grocery store without getting depressed. I don't know yet about being around all of the young mommies and mommies-to-be in my offline social circle, but I am planning to attend my niece-in-law's baby shower, and I'm even planning to crochet a baby blanket for her. That is HUGE progress.

Wild & Weird

Last weekend Matt and I drove down to Sequoyah State Park on Fort Gibson Lake to scope out their campgrounds. That's where we ran into this guy -- a one-and-a-half winged bald eagle who is a permanent resident at the nature center there. Apparently he got his wing caught and severed on some power lines a few years ago. Weirdly, they didn't have a name or any other info posted on him (or any of their other animal guests), but he sure seemed to enjoy being the center of attention and preening for the camera.

We hadn't really planned on getting out of the car, but when we passed the eagle cage we had to get out and take a closer look. He shares the cage with an owl -- I couldn't tell you what kind of owl, but he was big and pretty, albeit more camera-shy than his cage-mate. Further back they also had a coyote and a gray fox and some other animals that didn't want to come out and be seen, all of which were injured or otherwise unable to survive on their own in the wild.

Since all we had were our crappy phone cameras, we didn't bother with any more pictures. But we're planning to go back this next weekend to spend more time checking out the park and the nature trails (since when we do finally go camping there we'll have our dog and won't want to wander too far from our tent), and this time we'll take the good camera.

Speaking of wild things, we encountered a bit of a mystery in our back yard earlier this week. The other night Pete and I could both hear some kind of yipping animal noise nearby. It reminded me of the sounds the foxes would make when we lived out in the country, but I thought surely there wouldn't be any foxes this far into the city. Still, it didn't sound quite right to be just another little yapping dog, so I wouldn't let Pete outside to bark.

The next day, Matt found a hunk of animal hide, about two inches wide by about four inches long, lying between the back of the shed and the wooden fence. The fur sure looked like it could have come from a fox, but it could also have been a dog, I guess. The real mystery is, how the heck could an animal lose a chunk of its hide like that and there not be any blood anywhere in the vicinity? And how did it get in our yard? I suppose we'll never know, but I'm definitely keeping a close eye on Pete when we let him out after dark from now on.

Camp Wear-you-down

We're back. And let me tell you about camping. Or I guess about vacations in general, because it seems to me that the whole point of vacations is to make you shut up and stop whining about your day-to-day existence and appreciate how easy you've got it on a regular basis, because it seems like my vacations always leave me feeling more worn out and drained than when I started -- which of course I never remember until after they're over -- and this was no exception. Matt and I both came back burned, battered and just plain beat.

But about camping, specifically. To hear my mom tell it, my family went camping all the time until I was about two years old, then they up and moved to the lake and there was no longer any need. So for all intents and purposes, this was my first time. Matt's camping experiences were both sporadic and long ago enough that he was essentially a newbie, too. So it should come as no surprise that we made a lot of rookie mistakes.

Mistake the first: not traveling light enough. Before we left we stocked up on everything we thought we could possibly need or use over the weekend. Our little Aveo was so crammed full of crap that there was barely any room left for us. We only ended up using, eating or wearing about half of what we took. We brought along way more food than we needed, and we weren't so far from a grocery store that I couldn't have just gone shopping after we'd set up camp. We also took gallons and gallons of bottled water when our Pür pitcher would have been more than sufficient. Next time, we'll pack much, much lighter, which will make the next item less of an issue.

Mistake the second: parking too dang far away from the camp site. This wouldn't have been an issue if we'd stuck with the lot we'd originally reserved. But once we got there and saw an available lot right down on the water, we were so lured by the prospect of doing all of our swimming and fishing right there next to our tent that we didn't care that we couldn't drive down to it and had to park 50 yards away up a steep hill. It wasn't so bad carrying all of our stuff down hill on the first day, but having to schlep everything back up that hill on our last day pretty much undid all of the rest I'd managed to get in the interim. Which wasn't really that much, considering...

Mistake the third: setting our tent on rocky ground and trying to rely on cheap water loungers for air mattresses.  Both of which popped about ten minutes after we turned in on the first night. The next morning I wasted no time driving into town for some quality camping air beds, but we're both still covered in bruises from that first night of having to try to sleep on the ground with nothing but a tarp, the tent bottom and cheap thin plastic between us and the gravel. A situation that was aggravated by...

Mistakes the fourth and fifth: not taking ear plugs or an animal-proof locker for our food. Ear plugs would have made it easier to sleep through Pete's incessant barking at the raccoons that invaded our camp looking for food, and the locker would have kept them from finding it and strewing hamburger and hot dog buns all over the camp site. After that first night we started keeping the non-perishable foodstuff in the tent with us, but that didn't stop the critters from trying to get to it. And let me tell you something. In my house, when I'm safe in my own bed, I cannot sleep without having my feet covered, because I have a basic, deep fear, which precedes Paranormal Activity by about thirty years, of being awakened in the middle of the night by some unseen thing grabbing my feet. So when that actually happened the other night? Knowing that the unseen thing that had grabbed my toes through the tent wall was a cute and furry raccoon didn't really make it any easier to stop being terrified and go back to sleep.

I'm sure other mistakes were made, but these are the major ones that I think rectifying will make our next camping go-round a lot more restful. And there will be a next time, because despite all of our shiny new aches and pains, we had enough fun that we're already planning to go back for a weekend fishing trip in the fall. Matt caught a couple of fish, and the fact that they were too small to eat and had to be let go didn't make it any less exciting. The shore we camped on was rocky and I kept banging myself up on underwater boulders, but swimming was still fun, especially watching Pete swim back and forth between us until he was pooped enough to make a break for dry land. Despite the extreme heat, between the lake breeze and being able to jump in the lake when the breeze wasn't enough, we managed to stay pretty cool. And in between all of the swimming, fishing and hauling stuff up the hill, we fit in a lot of lazing about, as illustrated in this picture of Pete, who'd had all of the hyperactivity worn right out of him.

Now that we're home, we need a vacation from our vacation, but a single day of recovery will have to do. I woke up this morning feeling stiff and achy and sore all over, but also really appreciative of my own bed and all of the small luxuries and creature comforts we enjoy on a daily basis, and of not having to carry anything up a big hill again any time in the foreseeable future.