I'm back in my office today, for the first time since Bobo died. I'd already gotten so used to him hanging out on the pallet we'd made for him on the floor next to my desk, that I haven't had the heart to break the pallet down, or remove his food and water bowls, or sit here next to that empty space.
This room has become a sad room; but it's also the room where I do my best being focused and productive, and I need to take it back. So this morning I made myself remove the bowls and re-cover his pillow for the other cats (and Pete) to use. It was hard, and sitting here at my desk with him gone is hard. I just feel so much like we failed him, and like we failed Mom and Rob, even though I know that we did everything we possibly could for him, and that he just didn't want to go on without his people.
So the mood in my office is melancholic. The gray skies and chilly weather are certainly contributing to that. Today would be an excellent day to curl up in bed and listen to emo music and write more angsty lyrics, but I have too much work to do. I guess I'd best go do it.